“If you think you are beaten you are; If you think you dare not, you don’t; If you want to win but think you can’t; It’s almost a cinch you won’t.

If you think you’ll lose you’re lost; for out of the world we find success begins with a fellow’s will; it’s all in their state of mind.

Life’s battles don’t always go to the stronger and faster man, but sooner or later the man who wins is the man who thinks he can.” – Author Unknown

I found that little saying above maybe 15 or 20 years ago. I strongly believe that what is saying is absolutely true. In fact, every self-help guru on the planet will tell you that the way to experience happiness, prosperity, and health is through the doorway of positive thinking. But sometimes it can be hard to stay positive, I know.

I want you to know that I understand that it’s easy to talk about the power of positive psychology when all is going well in your life. It’s not so easy when things are crashing and burning all around you.

A few years ago my parents both passed away within a couple of months of each other. Although I tried very hard to keep a positive attitude after they died, I found it very difficult.  A couple of years later, when my girlfriend died from colon cancer I found keeping a positive mindset to be even more difficult. I understand that there can be limits to positive psychology while you are in the moments of despair, but to move from that place into a place of acceptance and gratitude takes developing and keeping a positive attitude.

You see, the self-help gurus are right about the power of positive thinking. Even in the darkest times, using some of the methods of self help psychology, you can take control of your thoughts and use them to guide your life in the direction you want to go. It just takes finding and using self help stuff that works for you. Through this process you can focus your thoughts and efforts on developing the life you want, turning your experiences into a force that drives you toward your destiny.

Let’s take a look at some self help stuff that works:

1. Develop a thankful heart. The results you get in your life are a direct result of what you pay attention to. I once heard a race car driver say that when they passed a car in a race they focused on the gap. They went on to explain that where you put your focus on is where your car will go, so if you focus on the other cars, your attention will drive you into the other cars. If you focus on the wall, your attention will drive you into the wall. But if you focus on the gap, where you want to go, your attention will drive you through the gap.

Every day, some things will go right and some things will go wrong. If you pay more attention to the things that go right and dwell on those things, like the driver who focuses on the gap, you’ll experience more happiness.

One of the ways you can put your attention on the good is to smile and greet everyone you meet warmly. Smiles are contagious, and people will smile back at you. This feedback will help you instantly begin to feel a positive difference inside yourself.

Take a few minutes throughout the day to think about things that you are grateful for. The more you work to develop a thankful heart, the more you’ll notice things to be grateful for and the better you’ll feel about your life.

2. Surround yourself with people that display a positive mindset and psychology. Most people who soar to incredible heights of accomplishment in their lives do so because they surround themselves with positive, encouraging people. It’s hard to have a positive outlook when everyone around you is complaining all the time.

I heard that who you’ll be in 10 years is a combination of the people you meet, the books you read, the seminars you attend and the recordings you listen to. When you surround yourself with people who routinely seek the good inside themselves and you, you’ll begin doing the same. Now I’m not saying to avoid those negative people or people that don’t build you up completely, especially if they are family or people you work with, just make a conscious choice to spend less time with negative people and more time with those who speak words of encouragement and support into your life. As you do, you’ll experience a more positive mindset as well as increased self-confidence and joy.

3. Learn from your errors and mistakes. From time to time we all make mistakes. They key is to learn from those mistakes and move on. So instead of thinking about all the negative consequences of an error, replace them with the thought “What have I learned from this?”

The same goes when negative thoughts spring into your mind. For positive thinking to truly make a difference in your life, you must replace negative thoughts as they occur. Most important, however, is the need to get whatever benefits you can out of the negative thought before you erase it from your mind.

Don’t just try to ignore those negative thoughts and hope they’ll go away. Instead, ask yourself if the critic inside of you is trying to teach you something valuable. If it is, make note of the lesson, and then quickly discard the negative thought. Figure out a way to reframe it with a positive perspective on the same situation.

For example, whenever you experience negative thinking, ask yourself: “What else could this mean?” If someone treats you unfairly, it could mean that they don’t like you very much. But it probably means they’re just having a bad day. How can you help? Just a little reframing can make a huge difference on your life’s outlook.

4. Use positive affirmations. Often, when faced with a stressful situation, it’s easy to fall into a habitual pattern of thinking and behaving. So if your habitual pattern is to think negatively your mind will move in that direction.  What you need to do is to create new habits that support your success instead of sabotaging it. One of the easiest ways to do this is through the use of daily positive affirmations.

To create a daily positive affirmation write out something you want in your life or a quality you want to possess. Make a list of these and write your statements in the present tense, using positive language. Now start reading these statements to yourself every morning and every night. As you change your habitual thinking patterns you’ll begin focusing on what’s needed for living the life you want. Try this today and experience the power of daily positive affirmations for yourself.

The power of positive thinking doesn’t mean that your life will always be rosy. In life there will be valleys that you like everyone else experience. What’s important is to not allow these experiences take over your life. Make the decision to learn from your experiences and let them give meaning to your life.

There is self help stuff that works and these have worked for me. I’ve found that using positive psychology can be extremely helpful, as long as you use it daily, on a systemic basis. This stuff works, from using positive affirmations to developing a thankful heart. You can harness the power of positive thinking by using these self help strategies. You merely have to decide and begin using them. As you do, you’ll move you closer to the joy and success in life you deserve.

Wil Dieck is the founder of Total Mind Therapy author of two e-Courses “Reprogramming Your Subconscious Mind” and “Unlocking the Secret Advantage of Hypnosis” that you can have at no charge . You can sign up here to receive these positive thinking tips delivered by e-mail weekly.